More thoughts about life

To mother a mentally handicapped child is a life filled with unexpected challenges.
But despite all the challenges it is also an experienced filled with boundlessly LOVE and JOY.

With my son you can’t really see that he is any different than other kids, when you first meet him. He is good looking 9-year old boy, with a wide smile and sparkling eyes. Of course that is a blessing, but can also be kind of a curse. People immediately expect more of him, than he can cover. And often gaze strangely at me when I talk to him in a way you would do a much smaller child.

I’m always very open about my son’s condition. But not every situation gives me the opportunity to explain. And that’s why I’ve been thinking a lot of the way many people behave. Why can’t all people find it in their heart to understand, acknowledge and embrace that though we are not all alike – we are all beautiful and unique beeings. ♥

Holidays for example are not the best things for children like my son. They tend to get restless and frustrated due to the lack of their daily routine. And another thing that can cause him to be unsettled is crowded places.


To give you one specific example;
This summer we went on a road trip. One day we stopped at this small village to have lunch. It was people everywhere. Luckily we found a table outside at a lovely restaurant.
When we sat down, I could see right away that my son was feeling uncomfortable in the crowded restaurant. He turned to me for comfort, sat down on my knee and wanted me to cuddle and kiss him. I managed to calm him down, enough to make him sit kinda quietly and eat his food, but as soon as he finished he wanted to get up and leave. I firm and quietly explained to him that I hadn’t finished my meal yet and that he had to sit down and behave. He started sobbing and clinging to me. I’m so used to this, that when matters like this occurs I do as always, talk quietly, firm and precise, and don’t give any nourishment to the bad behavior.
At this point my two teenagers are also finished eating, and they say they could go with him to the shop next door of the restaurant, to pick out a toy I had promised to buy him after the meal.
Since his brain, thinks somewhat different than most of us find logical, he does not understand that he have to walk around to get to the shop, so what he do is that he climbs over the chains that delimits the restaurants outdoor space. I explain to him that this isn’t the right thing to do, but at this point he is so uncomfortable that I couldn’t get through to him.
After a while they come back, he has found a stuffed reindeer, and wants me to come to shop immediately. I then explain that I have to pay for the meal first. He is by now rather frenetic, and when I start walking out of the restaurant, which is in the other direction than the shop is, he starts panicking; yelling and crying. And it takes a few minutes before he gets that I coming back in the same direction he is going.
When we finally gets out of the restaurant and in to the shop and buy him his reindeer, he calms down. Thankfully!

What puzzles me though is some peoples need to loudly spiteful comment on incidents like this. There was two couples sitting on a table close to us, and they went out of their way to make loud comments about how awful the behavior of my child was, and so on. I maybe could understand their reaction, if I hadn’t reproved him, but due to the whole scenario it should be clear to everyone within reach, that this is a situation with a child with special needs.
My two teenagers where really hurt by the comments they made, and I do regret not going over to their table talking to them. Telling them how their thoughtlessness deeply affects others.
I always thaught my kids; "If you don't have anything nice to say - then don't!" That's from Disneys Bambi, where Thumpers mother says this to her kids. I've always loved that saying!
I forgive these people though ~ I acknowledge that their minds sadly are too limited to see things from a wider perspective they act like this only because they do not know any better!

My son has really taught me so much in life. Like how to interact more smoothly with others, be open-minded and see the beauty in the difference of people. He also taught me to not mind so much about what others think, as long as I feel good.
So now, if we’re in a supermarket or something and my son say to me; “Listen to this cool music! Mum, let’s dance” I think, what the heck, the “worst” that can happen is that I make someone laugh! And they usually do :D! It’s wonderful!

At times when I’m feeling exhausted, I just think of my sons beautiful big brown smiling eyes, the way he cock his head and says “I love you mum!” The best feeling in the world!